New years prayers.......

Proverbs 22:6

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

One of my new year resolutions/prayers was to become a better parent and to approach issues with a more biblical and/or spiritual approach.  Much to my delighted (grimace) I have had the opportunity… and I did say “opportunity”… to work on this aspect of my parenting.  One of my children has been having an issue with speaking ill words and another is dealing with speaking politely child 3 is working on treating others as you would like to be treated, another is dealing with overcoming desires of the flesh, and well let’s just say they all are human and have human issues.

 

The interesting and blessed part of all of this is that God has given me the words and direction in each instance to address it from a godly perspective. Oh how wonderful it is! I have been going to a bible study at church and got a bit behind so I have been trying to play catch up. The amazing thing is that I am behind and just started a section on the power of the mouth. Ahhh, God at work. All the words I need to help guide my children and help them to understand the power of words and the destruction words can cause, be that through impolite or ill words.

Ephesians 4:29

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

 We recently started ridding our house of the not so healthy things we had, such as inappropriate video games, music, movies. One of my kiddos was caught playing call of duty on his DS (a.k.a. the fleshly desire). I did not even know he owned that game, I am assuming his biological father let him own it. When I caught him I asked him if he knew why I didn’t want him playing that game and he just shrugged like kids do. We then discussed the how it desensitizes you to your true nature.  This idea is not new to me, but is fresh in my mind from another class I am attending at church. It was such a good conversation and I felt so aligned with God as I was able to bring home the truth that we are not to pollute that which God has charged us to care of. Not our bodies and not our minds. Ahhh, God at work. Right time and right place.

Psalms 11:5

The Lord tests the righteous, but his soul hates the wicked and the one who loves violence.

A Mother's Prayer

A prayer, inspired by Lysa TerKeurst. It reflects my heart as well, so I personalized it and hung it on my fridge.


Father God,

Being a mom is the toughest privilege I've ever loved. I don't want to mess this up! So, I simply offer my willingness to be a great mom today. That's all I have to give, Lord.

I trust You to fill the gaps and give me the wisdom, patience, and discernment that will be required of me. I love these children I call my own, but in reality, they are Yours first and You know them best!

Thank You, Father for the honor to join You on this journey of walking these precious kids toward physical, emotional, and spiritual maturity.

I pray these things in the name of Jesus.
Amen

Just a thought...

A friend of mine posted a question on FB that got me thinking. He asked,

"If the Creator had a specific purpose in mind when He made the created, how does that intended purpose clarify success? Could it be that success for all believers is summed up in Ephesians 5:31-33?"

Now, I've read those verses before, and have taken from them principles to apply to my life. But, I suppose just like any scripture from the Bible, we can receive many "layers" (if u will) from reading the same individual scriptures, over and over; according to the season we are in with the Lord.

I read those verses and as I prayed for God to speak to me through them, Verse 33, stood out to me.

Vs 33 says: "Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband."

Every year, I pray about and focus intently on a few specific areas of spiritual growth for the year to come.

One of those areas for this past year was to not focus so much on controlling or changing my kids' attitudes, but to focus on MY responses to their behaviors. (This was a tough one for me!--- an area that realllllly needed to be addressed.)

At our house, there can be lots of chaos! We have a teenager. We have small children. We have quarreling siblings! We have moments of defiance!!

Well, last year is over, and I surely haven't mastered those sought after fruits of the Spirit, but God certainly taught me a lot about myself! :)

Sad to say, it comes easier for me to have grace, mercy, respect, and love for nearly everyone...but my kids (not in general, but certainly when they are being disobedient or disrespectful). Disrespect is a peeve of mine-- it can get under my skin so quickly! :-/

And yet, if I were to be honest with myself, I know that my kids could be displaying "said" behavior when it's just us at home and I could lose my cool...but, if we had company or we were in "public", I know I could maintain almost complete control. THAT'S PATHETIC! =(

The Lord has been reminding me (convicting me) that it is my CHOICE how I choose to respond. Just like it is my choice to follow Him. (Yes, yes...thank you, Father!)

He also revealed me that, as I sought to obey His word to respect my husband, I commonly would zip my lips and say nothing in times that I felt unloved by him. I suppose I was afraid to blurt out something disrespectful or over react.

In turn, I was only stuffing my feelings and not saying things that NEEDED to be said. This was creating sub conscience frustrations that I would release on the kids in moments of being disrespected by them. How unfair!

Ughhhh! I hate to see this "on paper", but it's the truth! I am so thankful to God for correcting me in this area!

I talk to my friends and we all seem to struggle with the same things-- it's so easy to have love, compassion, and patience with people (to operate in the Spirit), but sometimes- when it comes to our family, it can be so easy to be unloving, impatient, and totally lack compassion (to operate in the flesh).

The bible is full of instructions to live a God-pleasing life. They are not forced on us... if we TRULY want to be obedient to His Word, we will have to make the daily choice to obey them! His instructions go against the grain of everything the FLESH wants to instinctively do.

So, I read Eph 5:33 and I am convicted! He tells husbands and wives to love each other and respect each other. It's seemingly easy to do that for others when the Holy Spirit dwells in you, and at the same time, it can be so easy to lash out at the ones we love. (Why, why, why?!?)

If we, as husbands and wives, can achieve this command to love and respect each other, I believe it will require intent. We will certainly have to demonstrate it on purpose!

In turn, we will be living out the example for our children. If we can demonstrate this love and respect at home--where it is the hardest place (for me) to be consistent in, then SURELY we can demonstrate Love to the world, which is certainly a purpose God created us to fulfill!

"Could it be that success for all believers is summed up in Ephesians 5:31-33?"

My opinion? I don't know that this verse "sums up" our created purpose to be successful, but I do believe it's certainly a piece of the foundation of success in Christ's purpose for our lives.

I thank you for taking the tome to read my thoughts on all this! I pray all this rambling made sense to you on some level, and blesses you in one way or another!!

I'd love to hear YOUR thoughts and comments!!

~Rue <3

A Jewel For My Jar

My good friend Jayley turned me on to a great rewards system to use with the kiddos. A jewel jar system. The "rules" are simple- you may (key word: may) earn jewels for taking initiative with extra chores, handling sibling disputes with love, grace, and mercy, and what ever else I deem worthy of earning jewels (ie- "first kiddo to fall asleep tonight earns 2 jewels!" Lol).

This rewards system is a win-win! It encourages the children to set goals (fill your jar= choose money or reach in the "grab bag"), learn how to achieve goals, builds Godly character by making better choices---and for me, this system requires me to pay special attention to each child and be on the watch for opportunities to reward jewels. **I do not give jewels for EVERY situation, They may just earn a compliment and some mama lovin's!! :)

As far as discipline goes, this system has also been very effective! For instance, if the kids are fighting/arguing, I'll remind then that if they do not settle in love, grace and mercy, I will take (said number) jewels from their jar. Again, very effective. Lol

My four and six year old's have asked for jewels and I've told them , "No, no...you can't ASK for jewels for good behavior/choices, I will take notice and OFFER them to you." As I explain to their little minds the concept of the jewel jar reward system is to build good character in them (to do what's right...even when no one is looking), this concept of character growth is strengthened in me too!

Although sometimes it would be nice to get (immediate) "rewards" for the "good/godly/right" choices we make as (Christian) parents/wives/friends, as adults, we know that just isn't gonna happen. Because we aim to please and obey God, we CHOOSE to do what is righteous.

I do what's right, because at the end of the day, it really does feel good! I don't lose sleep and I know I am be a living example to my kids. This is the sacrifice I make for my children, my family, the people I influence in my life, and MOST importantly, for Love. Capital "L"...for my Love for God. He died for me...it's the least I can do. :)

<3 Be blessed!

Power of the mouth

My husband and I were watching a movie last night and towards the end he turned to me and said, "do you realize there were no bad words in that whole movie!". How nice that was. Recently it seems that God is working in our family to clean up our language, not that any of us are filthy mouthed, but we all seem to slip into old habits occasionally. I was watching a Beth Moore sermon the other day and she was discussing the importance of speaking out loud and the power it had. She said something that really related to our current situation. She talked about sanctifying your words and your mouth. So why is cussing such a problem?... it’s just a word right?.......wrong!! When one speaks negativity from your mouth you are taking a holy tool given by God and using it in a way which takes away from your power, your holiness. It’s time we all sanctify “literally "to set apart for special use or purpose,"” our mouths and use them to add to the beauty of life.

  

James 3:8-10... But no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so.

“Grace is the beauty of form under the influence of freedom.” --Friedrich Schiller

Had a conversation with one of my daughters last night about extending grace and the effect it can have on the other person. We are a blended family still in the steps of learning each other so issues arise. One issue that seems to keep resurfacing is communication. While my husband and I both have similar goals for our children, our methods and modes aren’t always the same. As we adjust and put new tools in our belts our children also are learning to adjust. So back to the extending grace conversation….

My husband and our youngest had gotten in a battle of the wills…needless to say E is a bit like her momma and is very independent and out spoken. Not bad qualities to possess in some situations… this was not one of those situations, so the battle was on. At the end of it, they both were upset and in their rooms. Here is my take away………you cannot, not matter how much you try, change the way someone acts. You cannot yell them into submission or guilt them, but you can extend them grace. Let go of your pride, choose your reaction, and apologize even if you don’t FEEL like it but it’s the right thing to do. By extending this loving principle to those we are frustrated with we show them another avenue, another way to communicate. Do it over and over and its benefits are two-fold.. ONE- The grace extender gets to reflect the grace and love we receive from our God and TWO- The grace receiver gets to see love in action and benefits from the act of acceptance. Who knows over time things just might change.

Have a blessed day- Jayley

Welcoming 2013...

Rue here!! While many people were preparing their New Year's resolutions, Jayley and I were prayerfully focused on this whole Blog Duo journey the good Lord placed before us.
We humbly come before the blogosphere community and offer you a peek into our world of parenthood, marriage, friendship, and our intention is to, most importantly, invite you into our hearts!!!
We'd like to leave a trail for our children to see and (hopefully) one day have a better understanding of the journey we lived in our life pursuit to be a fully devoted follower of Christ...and survive parenthood!! HA!!!

Welcome!! We are both super thrilled to get this blog party started!!

The First Step...

Rue and I have been procrastinating. Is it out of fear? Sometimes the first step is all it takes to squash the obstacle. One step…so I’m taking it Rue. With this post I officially open our blog. We pray that through our ramblings and postings words of grace, peace, love, and strength will fill lives and draw us all closer together. Have a God filled glorious day everyone!!